Amity's Story Begins, Part I

I am a father.

Our daughter was born March 3, 2012, at 2:13 in the morning. 3-3-12 @ 2:13. Interesting symmetry there - 3312213.

We had no indication on Thursday night that Friday would be different from any other day. We thought Kim's water broke during the day Thursday, but she went in and got checked, and it was a false alarm. I had been stressing about grading and a lesson observation that I had scheduled for Friday morning, so I ended up staying up until midnight (as late as I've stayed up this semester). I was up early and out the door, and I got to Berthoud with a bit of time to spare. I got stuff set up for my demos (I brought in a bass guitar and some other stuff for wave demonstrations), got my printing and lesson plans set aside, and then about 2 minutes before the lesson started Kim called me and said that her water actually did break, and that yes, she was sure. Her contractions weren't bad and she hadn't talked to the midwife yet, so I said I would tentatively plan on doing the main parts of the lesson before I headed home. Scott, my UNC professors (Wendy and Dr. Willis) and most of the students thought I was insane for not rushing home, but I wasn't concerned at all that I was going to miss anything, and I knew that Kim was doing just fine, so I figured I might as well hang out and get the stuff done that I had prepared.

Anyways, I scooted home, found Kim, and we started getting things straightened out and ready to go. Kim's mom got there shortly after I did (I think - she might have been there first) and she did not understand at all why I wanted to get some things done, get camera cards cleared off, and double check things before we headed over. I really wasn't stressed about anything - I was thinking of all the stories of people who went in early and got sent home, and I could tell that Kim wasn't having serious contractions yet, so we took our time to check things and go over things at the house before heading over. Of course, being two minutes away made it easy as well - even if Kim had started really hard contractions, there was no doubt we could make it right over there really quickly.

Once we got there, everything was good, and we got set up in the delivery room without any issues. Kim got changed into her gown, Betony showed up, and we basically started sitting around and waiting for things to progress. We walked around a ton, and it really helped the contractions get stronger - although it was hard to come back to the room and monitor for a few hours like the nurses wanted and see the contractions slow down because of it. Family started to show up and we got to see many of them (I spent a lot of time texting and communicating and generally "hosting" the thing, which was a bit out of character for me) and all the walking started leading to heavier contractions. Things weren't progressing very quickly, though - Kim had been at 2cm since Tuesday, and by 7:00 (after several hours of on-and-off contracting) we had only progressed to 3cm. The big image that sticks in my mind from the hours of early labor is Kim walking around with Betony, going up and down the ramp in the birthing center, and hanging onto the rails along the walls and leaning over or squatting down during the contractions to try to work through the pain. It seemed like things were progressing slowly but consistently.

After they checked Kim @ 3cm at 7, we had 3 hours of intense contracting - 1 minute on, 1 minute off, getting progressively more painful and severe. The whole time, Betony, Patti and I were talking to Kim, trying to get her to focus, and breathing with her through the pain. We kept telling her that she was doing fantastic, and that the increasing pain was good, because it meant that the labor was progressing. At 10pm, Kim was looking tired, and feeling quite a bit of pain, but we were optimistic because we were convinced that we were getting close. They decided to check her, I thought we would hear good things for sure, and then Karen (the midwife) told us that Kim was still at 3cm. I don't know another time that I've felt so defeated. It was a hard moment for all of us. I think that was the first moment that I started legitimately becoming scared. I understood for the first moment why labor can be a lethal thing - I couldn't even believe that Kim was still as alert and energetic as she was after having so much intense pain in such a short time. We decided to get an epidural, and the process was tough - Kim had to curl up, and try to sit perfectly still while she had contractions and a needle was stabbed into her spine. It took 5 failed tries and 40 minutes before it connected successfully. That was the only time I was legitimately worried about Kim - I just saw her getting so tired, and she couldn't hardly interact because the contractions and pain were so severe that she was having a tougher and tougher time keeping it together, and it was just turning into this thing where we felt separate and it seemed like we would be stuck there forever.